ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
