the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
