he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
