Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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