i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
