CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
