mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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