Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
