Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
