cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
