She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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