addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
