I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
