4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
