You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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