It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
