Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
