Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
