If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
