He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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