I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wish my penis had an off switch
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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