at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
