Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
