hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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