just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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