Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
