Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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