Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Vodka?
Forever.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
