You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
