I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
