I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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