Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There's always time for handjobs
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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