If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
