The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
