I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
