Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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