in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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