I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
