Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
