"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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