Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Randomize
