you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
