I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
