A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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