Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
