Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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