matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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