i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
