My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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