i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
