I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
