So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
